That’s the exact subject of an email I got from a top client recently…
And the question he asked in his email demonstrates in great detail how the principles that allow you to attract and keep your ideal woman play out in real life…
So, I decided to share it with you along with my answer here in this article.
Here’s what A.H. wrote in:
“Hey Jim,
I’m a big fan of your work and have purchased your FDG program and the Attract and Keep Her system and have been applying it which are great…
I’ve got a strange question for you about levels of texting and women that I’m sure you’ve come across before…
2 girls I have started dating, both who are very beautiful, have started complaining about my lack of communication on text saying, “I’m not sure this is going to work. You seem to independent with or without the kids (if I have my kids or not) and I’ve hardly heard from you….”
I’m applying what you teach about keeping communication to a minimum between dates…
It definitely works to get them thinking.
We may exchange for 2-3 texts if they initiate in between but then if they don’t hear from me for a couple of days I get push back from the kind of girls who are worthy of my time.
First girl that did this really tried to test me but I handled it by saying I was busy and was taking things slow and saving it for our date (which we had planned).
I had to ring her to say, “I’m trying to get you out on a date” and had to put my foot down a bit.
We met up and had a really nice second date, got her in bed and we have another date tomorrow night.
Now this other girl has said the same thing…
The truth is at first I was taking it but now it’s naturally part of me. It seems most guys that girls are used to are texting them all the time and I feel that this approach is so different!
How do I handle it when I get this test?
Kind regards,
A.H.”
And here’s how I responded:
What does it really mean when a woman complains that you’re not showing enough interest?
Hi A.H.,
Good to hear from you…
I love this question because most guys out there don’t reach this level – so well done on following the system.
When you have high interest in a woman, it’s tough to stick to it.
And that’s one of the reasons it works – it shows her that you’re a strong man internally because it’s difficult.
And that kind of rare internal strength attracts women even more than muscles do.
Alright, so, here’s the deal:
When a woman says, “Why don’t you text me more often?” etc. or anything like that…
…what she’s actually saying is:
“Why aren’t you chasing me like every other guy I’ve ever met (and gotten rid of)?”
…and, more importantly, she’s also saying:
“My interest in you is going up!!!!”
This kind of feedback from a woman means that what you’re doing is WORKING.
It’s a strong indicator of interest.
Notice how she still went out with you again. =)
Remember that frustration is similar to Attraction in the beginning stages of dating.
And, a woman who isn’t interested in you will mostly try to avoid you; she won’t complain to you about your behavior (because if she’s not interested in you she doesn’t care what you do).
See the CONTEXT there?
Now, when a woman brings up something like this DIRECTLY (they prefer to communicate indirectly), we soften a bit and reward her:
You: “Are you saying you want me to text you more?”
Her: “I guess so, yeah…”
You: “Okay, I think I can do that. And you can text me whenever you feel like it as well, ok?”
Etc.
Then you can text her a bit more/respond to her more quickly than you did before (while still not overdoing it – just be smooth about it).
Why is it okay now?
Because it’s HER idea.
She WANTS you to do it.
Before that, it’s too much because we don’t know how much she wants it (yet).
So, once she gets frustrated enough to bring it up with you, then it’s okay to do it. <==This is such a big key to dating success that it’s impossible to emphasize how important it is…
If you truly understand this concept, you basically understand women. And, if you apply it, then you will be successful with women.
It’s the same thing with asking her out on weekends and holidays:
We DO NOT ask her out on a Friday, Saturday, or Holiday UNTIL she says, “Hey, why don’t we ever hang out on weekends?”
Once she brings it up, then it’s okay to do it.
Before then, we don’t.
Remember: CHALLENGE is what women really want. =)
And it’s the same thing with making her your GF:
We just keep taking her out for an amazing time, waiting 4-8 days, and then asking her out again UNTIL she brings up the idea of being in a relationship.
Then, because it’s HER idea, at that point you can ask her to be your girlfriend.
This is proof that the Attract and Keep Her system works…
Remember that we read a woman’s ACTIONS when it comes to figuring out her true interest level, not her words.
And these women are showing you that their interest is going UP in spite of their “complaints.”
Now we just have to reward her for showing her interest so directly and we’ll make it all the way home.
And, by the way, A.H. handled this woman’s test pretty well…
When a woman asks why you don’t text her very much between dates, you can just tell her you’re old-fashioned and prefer to get to know her in person like A.H. did.
Then, because she brought it up, you can text with her a little bit more between dates after that.
Just stick to the system and keep your texting to a minimum before that.
Make sense?
Excellent.
Alright sir, hope this was helpful…
Until Next Time,
Jim
