There’s a BIG difference between leading and chasing.

When it comes to attracting a woman:

Leading is good…

We always want to be leading.

On the other hand, chasing is bad…

We never want to chase if we can avoid it.

So, what’s the difference between leading and chasing?

Understanding this difference will allow you to apply it to your real life, which will lead to MUCH better results if you’re not applying it already.

And even guys who haven’t thought about this difference explicitly are successful with women in direct proportion to the amount they lead without chasing.

In fact, my best-selling Attract and Keep Her System was almost called “Always Lead, Never Chase…”

That’s how important this distinction is when it comes to women.

See, sometimes behaviors that seem like chasing are actually leading and sometimes things that you might think are leading are actually chasing…

So, once we fully understand the difference and start to take action on it, awesome things start to happen.

And that’s exactly what one of my top students A.S. asked me about last week…

Here’s what he wrote in:

“Hey Jim,

What is the difference between “you chase her” and “she chase you?”

For example, I went to my friend’s place last night and there was a girl there that I met a week before and I didn’t know if I should come to her and say hello or just wait for her to come to me (not chasing).

And another story from that night: We all were inside the house having fun…

I waited to find the moment to be one on one with her. Then it happened; she went outside to get some fresh air.

I was thinking I should go after her but then I stopped myself before going outside because I thought I’m chasing her!

Is that chasing Jim?

Jim btw I have to tell you that you have changed my life from 0 to 8 and it’s always improving because of you.

I wish I could give back to you, thx!

-A.S.”

Here’s what I told him:

The Pattern that Drives Up a Woman’s DESIRE for YOU…

Hey A.S.,

Great to hear from you sir!

First of all, I think the fact that you’re thinking critically about what it means to NOT chase a woman already means that you’re on the fast track to success…

Here’s the deal:

What you want to do is LEAD without chasing.

For example, when you see a woman you want to meet, LEAD by going up to her and starting a conversation….

But don’t chase her by talking to her too long.

Or, if she doesn’t want to talk to you, then don’t keep pressing.

Later, if she keeps talking to you for a bit and things are going well, LEAD by asking for her number or just giving her yours…

But don’t chase her by bombarding her with lots of texts.

You want to take ONE step forward AND THEN let her take a step toward you before you lead the next step forward. <==This is one of the biggest keys to women…

You wait until she also takes a step toward you = not chasing.

You talking multiple steps toward her without her stepping toward you at all = chasing.

So if you text a woman, she doesn’t respond, and you text her again…

Yep, that’s chasing.

The first time you texted her wasn’t.

Going up to a woman and introducing yourself isn’t chasing…

Then, if she engages in the conversation with you, she’s taking a step toward you, so it’s not chasing to ask for her number…

And if you text her once and she texts you back, that’s her taking a step toward you so that gives you the green light for the next step: waiting 4-8 days and then asking her out on a date.

On the other hand, if she doesn’t text you back and you keep texting her…

Yep, that’s clearly chasing.

Making one move isn’t chasing – making multiple moves without her showing some interest in you after you make that one move is chasing.

Make sense?

Excellent.

***The only exception to this is that if you make one move, she doesn’t respond, and then you WAIT for an extended period of time and then make one more move after that waiting period, that can also work in rare circumstances because you didn’t chase after her right away. However, most of the time, thinking about this possibility will just be a way to engage in wishful thinking so we should focus on the main pattern as much as possible.***

I mean, here’s the thing:

A gorgeous, amazing woman isn’t going to ring your doorbell while you’re playing Civ 6 or watching Hulu, grab your face when you answer the door, start ferociously making out with you, and then ask you to marry her…

So, clearly, we have to make a move.

The key is to make A move…

…AND THEN STOP, pull back, and wait instead of rushing head-first into rejection like most super hungry men do out there. <==This concept of “push-pull” / leading without chasing leads to ultimate success with women…

So next time, go up to her at the party…

Talk to her for 3-5 minutes and try to have a fun conversation…

Then say it was nice meeting her and that your friend is calling you over or something like that.

Leave the conversation before she wants you to if you know you’ll both be there for a while…

Then, a while later, come back to her and talk to her again.

And this time ask for her number.

Also, if she goes outside it IS chasing her if you follow her outside UNLESS you have (make up) a reasonable excuse why YOU wanted/needed to go outside. =)

“Oh hey, just came out to make a quick call. What’s up?”

Etc.

Remember: Lead by talking the first step.

If she does one back, lead the next step.

If she doesn’t, STOP and don’t chase her.

It’s very simple once you get it down.

And, it works! =)

This is the PATTERN that raises female interest level.

All you have to do is apply it consistently the way we talk about inside the Attract and Keep Her system and you’re golden.

Alright sir, sincerely hope this helps…

Until Next Time,

Jim

Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book


Jim
Jim

Jim Wolfe is on a mission to help you permanently solve your dating and relationship problems on the way to helping 100,000 men live their ideal life with their ideal women and helping to increase the percentage of happy, healthy relationships from 30% up to 40%. Jim has been studying dating and relationships from the male perspective for over 17 years. Now, he has clients in 72 countries and counting and is the author of the "Attract and Keep Her" best-selling dating and relationship system for men.