Sometimes, dating principles can seem abstract…
So let’s take a look at a real-world situation when a man met a woman and tried to get something going with her.
In this article I’m going to go through a series of questions I got from a top student and show you how I answered them step-by-step as he met a woman, asked her out, went on a date with her, and then asked her out again…
And I’ll also add some commentary as we go along to bring out some key principles.
That way, you’ll see how everything we cover around here applies in a specific real-world situation.
Sound good?
Excellent.
Now, as we make our way through this article, I want you to keep 3 things in mind and see if you notice how they come to life:
1. How taking action on the principles we cover is what leads to success…
B.H. does a good job of this and that’s why things are going well for him so far.
2. The importance of FEMALE INTEREST when it comes to dating and relationships…
See if you can spot where this comes up.
3. Our goal when we meet a woman we’re interested in is to get to date #3…
Not just to get one date or to have a really long or amazing first date.
Alright, now let’s get into it…
Here’s the first email I got from B.H. (whenever you see a bracket [ ], that’s me adding my thoughts):
“Hi there,
I have been watching your videos and they’re fantastic. They’ve helped immensely.
Anyway, I’m not sure if you respond to these kinds of personal requests, as I’m sure you get a lot of them, but I need a quick piece of advice if it’s possible. If you don’t answer these types of questions, no worries at all!
Long story short, I met this awesome girl at a dog park the other day…
We ended up having a great conversation, and during the conversation she actually asked for my name first, and I know that can be a sign of interest [#femaleinterest – yes, her asking you for your name is a good sign. So is her asking you personal questions].
I did not get her number during this first meeting [a mistake but let’s continue because this can’t be the end of the story…next time ask for her number – we always ask, especially when we don’t know if we’ll see her again or not].
I ended up seeing her out there about 5 days later, and we had another great conversation. I was planning on getting her number before we left that day. However, during the halfway point of our time at the park that day, I inquired about this tag her dog had on…
She explained it to me and told me what it was called and what not, and I started to look it up on my phone, but she stopped me and said “I can send it to you if you’d like?” and proceeded to hand me her phone to put my number in [This is excellent…she wanted to make sure you exchanged numbers. Very strong indicator of interest. Remember: When a woman likes you, she HELPS you…].
I feel this was also a good sign [you’re right sir haha].
We saw each other again at the park last night, talked the whole time, and texted a little bit last night as well…
My question is basically what my next step should be?
I think the answer is to ask her out on a date, but I just don’t know what exactly to say or how to say it.
I was thinking about just asking her Friday if she wanted to take our dogs to this spot she brought up the other day and grab a couple drinks on Saturday, but I just don’t know how to best craft the text or if that idea is even a good one or not.
Apologies for such a long message, and again no worries if you don’t respond to these kinds of things. Just figured I’d give it a shot as I could really use the help!
Thanks so much,
B.H.”
And here’s how I responded:
Real-world early stage dating tips…
Hi B.H.,
Thank you for your email.
When you say, “I think the answer is to ask her out on a date, but I just don’t know what exactly to say or how to say it…”
YES, the right answer is to ask her out on a date…
Choose a day, time, and activity and just invite her to join you:
“Hey, wanna go with me to (X spot she brought up the other day) and then grab a couple drinks on Wednesday? 7 PM is great for me if that works for you.”
Etc.
Adjust to your style but always include the day, time, and where you’ll be meeting when you ask.
That way, when she replies, her response is CLEAR.
If you ask clearly, you get a clear answer.
This helps flush out her true interest level.
If she declines your date invite or doesn’t end up showing up for some reason, assume she has low interest and then move on (she will contact you at some point after you stop contacting her if she was interested – then you can try asking her out ONE more time. And if she isn’t interested then you stop wasting your time).
If she shows up for the date, focus on having as much fun with her as possible.
Then, make sure you go for a kiss by the end of the second date.
If she shows up to 2 dates, kisses you (back), and actually shows up for a 3rd date, then she’s definitely interested in you and you’re doing well.
Focus on making it to date #3 more than just that first date and you’ll do better.
Also, try to avoid weekends and holidays for dates…
Asking her to meet up on Tuesday, Weds, Thu, etc. is better than Fri or Sat.
Why?
1. She’s busier on Fri/Sat so the likelihood of her saying yes is lower – we want her in the habit of saying yes to your date invitations…
2. Weekday dates imply less PRESSURE and pressure kills interest level…
3. It makes you more of a CHALLENGE…
At some point, she’ll wonder why you’re not meeting up with her on the weekends…
Once she ASKS you why you don’t, THEN you can ask her to meet up with you on weekends.
When she asks you about it, that means her interest in you is going up and you’re doing a good job.
Alright sir, well done so far with this one.
Keep up the good work and let me know how it goes.
And now here’s B.H.’s next email:
“Hey Jim,
Thanks again for your response and excellent advice. She said yes to a first date!
[The fact that she made sure to get your number made me think she would go on a date with you]…
The first date went very well in my opinion and was very fun!
[Well done on focusing on having fun with her and keeping it light and playful]…
I decided not to text her after, as it seems like you consider that to be an optional choice of action.
She actually ended up texting me first later that night [#femaleinterest] regarding something we did during the date, then I just followed up after that saying I had a great time and she said she did as well. So I feel that was a good sign [her saying she had a great time is less important than the fact that she texted you first – read a woman’s actions to read her interest level].
I am going to wait 4 or 5 days, and ask her on a second date…
She has hinted at seeing a movie a couple of times over text, so that is what I am going to propose for the second date.
Do you have any additional suggestions or general rules of thumb for the second date, aside from being sure to attempt a kiss by the end?
Thanks very much,
B.H.”
Notice how the first date went well and she seems to be interested in him.
Let’s see if we can continue to build momentum…
Here’s my reply:
Hi B.H.,
Great job so far!
Let’s keep it going…
Normally, I advise against movies for the first 3 dates because:
1. You can’t interact with each other…
2. If you want to interact, you have to do something else in addition to the movie, and that makes the date WAY too long for a first, second, or third date.
3. It shows a lack of creativity on your part because “dinner and a movie” is the most cliché date idea you can offer her…
However, she brought it up, so it’s your call in this case. Seems like a smooth way to go…
[Remember, if something is her idea you can do it even if it breaks the “rules” if you think it’s a good idea. We want her to be coming toward you like she did when she got your number and when she suggested going to a movie. So, while you shouldn’t suggest a movie date within the first 3 dates, if she suggests it you can go with it. These little nuances make a HUGE difference].
Just keep it light and fun and don’t bring up your feelings for her…
Have as much fun as possible with her and then just end the date on a high note if you can and then wait 4-8 days and ask her out for your third date.
And, as you mentioned, find a way to go for a kiss on your date [go for a kiss by the end of the second date].
That’s it for now – the less complicated the plan, the better because you can actually follow it.
Have fun and let me know how it goes…
And now here’s the latest email I got from B.H. about this situation:
“Second date was a total success!
She ended up asking me on a date [very very good sign]…
Went for the kiss at the end and it went great [well done sir!].
Only thing I somewhat regret was not inviting her up to my apartment…She somewhat hinted at it, but I decided against it.
I just had in the back of my head the idea that I should be the one who ends the date as you advise, as well as try to keep her wanting more. So the date ended in my car. I also did pull back from the kiss first, and she pulled me back in [he’s CRUSHING it in terms of applying good advice and it’s working out well for him – so strange haha].
Your tips and advice have been nothing short of spectacular!
Should I be regretting not inviting her up to my place? Or do you think that was the right move to make?
And here’s my final reply:
B.H.,
Good to hear from you sir…
You could have invited her up but it’s better that you didn’t – now there’s even more tension.
And you won’t be in the friend zone because you kissed her.
So there’s nothing to worry about – only more tension to make your next date even better.
Remember: When it comes to women you can never go too slow; only too fast.
Keep up the good work and have fun with this.
Hopefully your third date will be fun as well.
Relax and don’t think about what you might “get” and good things will probably happen. =)
And that’s it for now…
I want to congratulate B.H. for seeing advice, taking action to follow it, and for making it to the THIRD date with a woman he’s interested in.
If he continues to do most things right with this woman I’m confident he can make it all the way home, allow her to fall deeply in love with him, and become her boyfriend if he wants.
Well done sir, well done.
May we all be like B.H.
On the other hand, let’s also acknowledge that FEMALE INTEREST is the most important factor in your relationship with a woman…
And it’s clear that this woman is interested in HIM.
So, once we know a woman is truly interested in us, all we have to do is:
1. Not mess it up…
This is what generally happens most of the time haha.
It’s easy to make mistakes, especially when we have high interest in a woman.
On the other hand, the more we stick to the plan inside the Attract and Keep Her System instead of “winging it” the less we mess things up.
2. RAISE her interest by following the system we cover inside Attract and Keep Her…
3. SEE if she has the qualities required to be the right woman for you over a period of 2 years if you want to marry her.
And, that’s really it until her interest hits 9 out of 10…
Then we have to maintain her high interest, but that’s a topic for another day.
Is it difficult?
Yes, romantic relationships at best are TOUGH…
Is it worth it?
If you’re with a giving woman who has a good, flexible attitude AND she’s actually deeply in love with you, then YES.
Otherwise, I don’t think it’s worth it at all.
And that’s why I’m here: to show you how to make the right woman for you fall and stay deeply in love with you.
And how to protect yourself from women who could hurt you or use you.
Because while love is light and playful, relationships are serious business.
Alright sir, enjoy the rest of your day…
Take action on the principles we talk about around here, look out for female interest, and stick to the PLAN we cover inside AAKH.
If you do, you’ll be able to attract and keep the right woman for you while avoiding future pain and suffering.
I like to call that winning.
And that’s just what we do around here. =)
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
